I am a genuine optimistic, I savor life. I don't wake up everyday expecting it to be atrocious, I try my best to make everyday exeptional. I think to myself about how I can improve situations instead of sitting there and saying to myself "I knew this was going to happen" or " If you set low standards you wont be dissapointed". I hate hearing things like that but I listen to my husbands pessimistic banter. It brings my mood to an all time low, and I honestly don't think he cares enough about me to recognize how unhappy it makes me. There is no sadder sight then a young pessimist.-Mark Twain That is probably one of the best quotes. Some times when I talk about having a baby he says things to me like I don't think we can even get pregnant. HE KNOWS HOW BAD I WANT TO... yet he says things like this to me. It is like he purposely is trying to shatter my dreams. He says he has always been like this but that is not true. He once was the sweetest most respectful man I had ever met. He was always so happy and upbeat and know I feel like I am pulling his teeth to make him even talk to me. It is an awful feeling. I really have been trying but I cant help but to think that my husband needs help. I honestly believe he is depressed and needs to talk to someone about it because he wont talk to me about what is bothering him which only leaves room for me to make up my own stories of what is going on with him. I think about how he is unhappy with me, how he settled with me because he was so lonely, or how he is still so in love with his ex and now is miserable because he cant have her. We have tried talking it out but that doesnt work, plus he let me know last night that he doesnt know what to do about Charlotte anymore. She is almost 3 it isnt that hard, all you have to do is love her, he says he does, he says he loves her and me, but I cant help but think that he is lying to me. ONCE AGAIN....
mrsdixon
hmmm... Saturday
Cleaning is done. My daughter is down for a nap and so is my husband. So now I just sitting here listening to music and blogging because of my boredom. Our roomates our going shopping because single girls are coming next weekend for the 4 day so they feel the need to impress them. They don't see girls other then me very often so I guess I can understand. I really cant wait to go to CO. It will be great, it'll be a new start for us. I am so unbelievably excited. I will miss the people we met here but thats what you do in the army... you move and you deal with it. Charlotte will be an Army brat which is not what I would have ever thought when I had her. She is becoming such a big girl. It makes me a little sad to see my baby running and saying whole sentences, I remember her first coo and the first time she sat up by herself, it feels like yesterday. It is kind of depressing, but its life. I love this crazy life, I wouldnt ask for anything to be any differnt, or atleast I dont think so. On other news I am going to sell my car... I am wondering how that is going to go. I dont even know where to start doing that. Well my friend needs me to bring her my vaccuum so I must head out!!!
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Well...
Well we are leaving for Fort Carson, CO in April. My husband and I think that it will be a great place to live. We don't know when he will be deployed but I keep my fingers crossed that he won't have to ever go. He is in the army until 2012 so we will see right??? We just got back from South Dakota a week ago and it was amazing. His family was so great, kind and loving. We had a wonderful christmas and we even got a new car. Everything is going so great right now. We are just spending alot of time with eachother. I joined the FRG at my husbands company. I am a key caller and I am very excited about the job ahead. However, I hope when we move I can be a key member in the FRG at my husbands new company. I am kinda nervous about going. I will have to make new friends and I am alittle weary about making friends with army wives due to the fact that alot of them gossip. I think it will be great for me and my husband to move into our own home and make new friends and have new friends. I love the friends that we have now but we need to live on our own now. We have 2 roomates and they can get on our nerves quite abit plus we need our own space. We wot to have more kids and we need more room to do it. I am excited for the months ahead though.. See ya soon Fort Carson!!!!
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What to do...
So I realize today I am going to have a real hard time next month. I am going to South Dakota with my husband for his leave and Christmas. I will be meeting his family for the first time and I am going to be so nervous. I dont want them to think that I am not outgoing cause I really am I will just be shy at first. I am terrified that they wont like me.
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